Eat a bagel-pizza back to the main BLONDIE PAGE NOW! Eat to the Feet Overall Album Score: 8.3 out of 10 Synchronized chewing? It sounds a bit Orwellian, doesn't it? I mean ... pretty soon, the government will be telling us how rapidly to chew our food! BASTARDS! With Eat to the Beat, they got back onto the same horse that brought them to wild-and-popular fame with Parallel Lines and produced a carbon copy of it. But this is actually pretty good and it is an essential purchase for someone who enjoyed Parallel Lines. Unfortunately, during the carbon copy process, they weren't able to recreate the monster-hits: "One Way or Another," and "Heart of Glass." They seemed to make a direct attempt at redoing "Heart of Glass" with "Atomic." "Atomic" is certainly a good song (and the best song from this album). It's not quite as good as that monster hit, but it's certainly a worthy Disco-y follow-up. There is also a bit of a failed attempt at doing a lullaby ("Sound-A-Sleep") and an almost failed attempt at doing reggae ("Die Young Stay Pretty") and a very fun, primitive pre-Adam Ant-esque track ("Eat to the Beat"), which for diversity's sake, helps spice things up a little bit. And the rest of the songs ... there's nothing here that really keeps me from enjoying the album. However, Blondie seems to have taken a bit of a beating when it comes to songwriting. The melodies aren't nearly as splendid as they were on Parallel Lines. Nevertheless, just because it doesn't compare to the artists' previous album doesn't mean I should dislike this one. That would be unfair. And, as I've said many times, I like this album. I don't feel like I'm wading in a sea of greatness when I'm listening to it, but I at least feel like it's something good. And, I enjoy this album better than I enjoy Blondie's first two albums. I say let Eat to the Beat be the Queen of the Blondie kingdom. After this, (I haven't listened to at all as of writing this) Blondie apparently sinks back into the quicksand they emerged from. But that's okay ... they sure inspired numerous good acts in the 80's for us all to enjoy. Overall Album Score: 8.3 out of 10 (This is an enjoyable album, to be sure, but it is weighed down a bit by a few uninspired tracks. It's not nearly as good as Parallel Lines, which it tries to copy.) Average Song Score: 8.5 (This is a pretty good collection of pop tunes! Most of these songs are very fun and enjoyable.) Album Tilt: 8.5 (And I enjoy listening to this album. I don't really even notice that the songs I scored a 6.5 and a 7 were really that bad when I put it on background music. This is a pretty good album.) Artist Rating: 8.0 (Well... Blondie came up with an inferior copy of their major commercial success. So, I have to penalize them a little bit in this category. But it is, at least, a worthy successor.) Track Reviews Dreaming 8.5/10 This is a very pleasant and almost explosive new wave number to begin the album with. The melody ... well ... it's not wonderful. But who ever said you had to start an album off with a great melody! It's enjoyable and, all in all, a pretty good introduction. Hardest Part 8.5/10 Well here comes a song that starts out with a classic Blondie disjointed riff. It's a semi-Disco song. Nevertheless, like the classic Blondie song, it manages to be perfectly fun, enjoyable, and even danceable. Union City Blue 9/10 Well ... FINALLY ... we get to a song that is UTTERLY enjoyable. While I'll admit that the melody might be a bit pedestrian, but at least it has a good VIBE that makes this track stand out above all the other tracks. Shayla 8.5/10 This song is similar to "Union City Blue" in that is has an atmospheric vibe that I enjoy so much. The melody takes a bit of a downward turn here, but I think this song is pretty good. There's nothing really for me to complain about. So ... SHAYLA! (I wonder if she's related to Clapton's Layla?) Eat to the Beat 9.5/10 Wow! This is sounds like an Adam Ant song! It's a fast song with aggressive but playful vocals. If the beat were amplified a little bit, it would almost be indistinguishable from Adam Ant. (But then again, Adam Ant doesn't exactly sound like Deborah Harry, does he? Not on his good days, at least.) This is a great song, I think! GrrrrrrrrrEAT! Better than Frosted Flakes, I think. Accidents Never Happen 8/10 Blondie gives us a pretty good melody here, but now the song seems to lack the same energy that some of those other songs had. Oh well. SMELLLLLLLLLLL. Though it fully deserves this 8. It's enjoyable 'till the last drop. Die Young Stay Pretty 8.5/10 I little bit o' Reggae-tinged stuff to throw into the mix! It's not the greatest thing I've heard on the planet that's Reggae. But the song is funny, at least. (Die Young, Stay Pretty? What the heck kind of message is this getting across to the youth of today (1979?) Oh............... it's humor. Okay.) Slow Motion 9/10 As if they were just pulling them out of a magic hat, Blondie comes up with yet another enjoyable song. This one is more upbeat and happy. The melody might be among the album's greatest. Atomic 10/10 By far, this is the sheer highlight of the album. SURE it is disco, but like "Heart of Glass," this is tasteful disco. And it's kind of weird, too, which is probably why it's so utterly appealing to me. Funny. A classic. Sound-A-Sleep 7/10 A lullaby??? BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! But I guess within that media, the song works out fine. But a lullaby?!?!? YAWWWWWWWWWWN!!!! (Though, I suppose such a song is supposed to make me sleepy. Victor 6.5/10 Here's some more pre-Adam Ant stuff. Unfortunately, however, I can't enjoy this song mostly because there's no tune, nothing here is really inspired, and Deborah Harry screaming bits of this song just isn't very appealing. This song is just messed up. Sorry. But, on the bright side, it does make for an interesting contrast to "Sound-A-Sleep." Living in the Real World 8.5/10 Okay! At least Blondie can close with a decent song this time! It's a hard-rocking tune that is sung with passion and it's fun to listen to. It definitely ain't super spectacular, but it's pretty darn cool. Do you just want to eat this review up? Or just regurgitate it? Leave your comments here

All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael C. Lawrence. (The 'C' stands for Cougar.)