Grass Blasters Vol. D
Overall Album Score: 9.8 out of 10 This isn’t Past Masters Vol. 2, this is BLAST GRASTERS BOL. TEW!!!! … HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH! … Okay, that was pretty annoying. I’m sorry. This compilation disc is the second part (Vol. 2) of the series (Past Masters), and it’s even more enjoyable and essential than the first part (Vol. 1) of the series (Past Masters). And why do you ask is this more essential than the first part? … It’s all the same, right? John is here. Paul is here. George is invisible. And Ringo is here, too! What could possibly be different about it??? … Besides the fact that they have different songs on them. … And they were made during the Beatles “Later Period.” … … … … Um, okay, this is quite a bit different. The reason this compilation disc is much more essential than the previous one is not only does it have better songs on it, it has better songs on it! (Like “Hey Jude!” You’ve got to dig any compilation album that has “Hey Jude” on it.) Overall Album Score: 9.8 out of 10 (An album full of some of the Beatles most untouchable songs … and I’m feelin’ ‘em all over! They’re sexy! Waawaa!) Average Song Score: 9.8 (The songs!!!! They’re all FAMOUS! Freaking heck! Album Tilt: N/A (Compilation album.) Artist Rating: N/A (DUDE! … Compilation album!) Track Reviews Day Tripper 10/10 The Beatles tripped on the day, landed face first into the dirt, and as they discovered something that they had never seen before: a riff! And The Beatles, being totally rad, had made it a great riff! This is … *ahem* another great Beatles classic. Really, I wish they would quit making those. I have to say the same thing about every song, and frankly I’m getting a bit sick of it! DOWN WITH THE BEATLES! DOWN! DOWN! … Oh wait, I’ve got a Kiss album review to write after this. I can wait until then before I start hurling insults at bands *cracks knuckles*. Okay, NOT DOWN WITH THE BEATLES! THEY’RE OKAY! We Can Work it Out 10/10 It’s really hard to believe that The Beatles make these songs seem so danged simple to write! … They can make rock-and-roll classics come out like running water. It’s freaky! … This melody is perfection in a bundle, and the arrangements were also perfectly done. (Have you ever loved an accordion so much?) Paperback Writer 10/10 This song is a bit harder … and it’s DANGED COOL. (I want to be a paperback writer, too, you know. Me and the Beatles had something in common. That’s awesome!) The melody is wonderful, the arrangements are crisp and fun … … I’m going to have too many praising sentences in these track reviews. Okay. I’m going to say something hideously evil to balance things out right now, but it won’t really be true. Here I go. “Paperback Writer” sounds like it was written by a lawyer! WAHWAH! Rain 9.5/10 What a horrid piece of crap. It’s not a 10-song! … The freaking Beatles are slipping, baby! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEIR SORRY BUTTS????!???!?? … Alright, I’ll fess up. This is another great song by the “great” Beatles. Yadda yadda yadda. Lady Madonna 10/10 Madonna??? Forgive Paul! He knows not of who he talks about in his songs!! … Oh wait, Madonna (the pointy-breasted woman who sings bad music) wasn’t in the spotlight yet when this song was written. So, never mind. Oh! And you might like to know that this is a town-hall type song that’s fun to listen to, catchy … classic … … yadda yadda yadda. The Inner Light 8.5/10 GEORGE HARRISON! YOU GO TAKE YOUR FREAKING INDIAN MUSIC AND STICK IT UP YOUR BACKSIDE! … Nah, George is cool. He can write a crap Indian song if he wants to. It’s no skin off my backside. Hey Jude 10plus/10 HEY JUUUUUUUUUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Revolution 10/10 Just wait one freaking minute … … I REVIEWED THIS SONG ALREADY!! … I DID! IT’S ON THE BLOODY WHITE ALBUM ISN’T IT! … DANG IT! I WANT MY MONEY BACK! … *huff* *huff* *huff* … Oh, wait. It’s cool. This one has a lot of electric guitar on it, and that other one didn’t have much of that. Alright, I don’t want my money back. Get Back 10/10 I reviewed this song already, too! It was previously on the Let it Be, Person Who Is Messing Around With My Fly. … I really think I *will* return this bum album. … Hmm … This appears to be slightly different as well. … Alright. … I’m going to narrow my eyes, though. Don’t Let Me Down 9/10 … Oh! Here is finally a song that I hadn’t reviewed before. … I’m going to savor this moment completely, and write a really stellar track review of it. The Ballad of John and Wowo Wongo 10/10 Is this song kind of like “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins” sung by that funny looking guy with pointy ears? … … … Wait a minute, I didn’t really review “Don’t Let Me Down,” did I? … Should I go back to it? … … Sure thing. Don’t Let Me Down … Naked 9/10 This is a pretty good song. Why is it “pretty good?” It’s “pretty good” because there’s singing on it, and there’s people playing instruments on it, too. I think these people are pretty good, too. Maybe they’ll become famous one day. The Ballad of John and Yokomo 10/10 That’s where I wanna go … way down in Yokomo … That Beach Boys song is a pretty good song. Not as good as “The Ballad of John and Yokomo,” which is a really fun and catchy song. … Yeah. And I wanna go to Yokomo. And Bermuda and Jamaica, too. Old Brown Shoe 8.5/10 George Harrison SUCKS! You freaking sucky person, you, George Freaking Harrison. … Oh, wait. I like George Harrison. Alright, you’re cool, Georgie. Sorry I snapped at you, man. Although, this is a rather weak song when you compare it with all the other stuff on here. … I guess that means all of George’s best songs actually appeared on a Beatles album of some sort. Hmmmm … now we know who really was in charge! (This song is very close to what Georgie would start doing on his All Things Must Pass Gas album.) Across the Universe 10/10 *Kicks computer monitor over in a fit of rage*. I REVIEWED THIS SONG ALREADY, TOO! … It’s the exact same thing as the other one … it just hadn’t been farted on by Philboy Spector. Let ij; We 10pluis/30 (I wish I didn’t kick over my computer monitor. I can’t see what I’m typonhy now.) Well, this so/ng is famous because Iv’e already reviewed it before on iths site! … From now on in this aflbum, I’m just going to boycott songs that I’ve already reviewed before;re You Know My Name (Look Up the Number) 9/10 A very very very bizarre (and entertaining) song … and it’s allegedly the very last song that The Beatles ever recorded together. And it can kiss my butt. Good day. Feeling horny? Then send me a comment about this album here!!! kerry_prez@yahoo.com (Alan Brooks) received Oct. 29, 2004 Don't mean to be a smart ass, but in the song 'We Can Work It Out' the instrument being played isn't an accordion, it is a harmonium. Don Ignacio Responds: I love harmoniums as well. They're both the same where it counts. |
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